I continue to fall and He lifts me up. I trust it is His will for me. It requires me to keep my eyes on Him. I can do nothing without His grace.
I have recently experienced another miscarriage. This is my second miscarriage in six months, fourth in two years. I continue to grieve and pray for a complete healing, Thy will be done. I will continue to journey down this path that He has led me, a healthier lifestyle that will help me to better live out my vocation.
I took some time “off.” I didn’t binge or completely deviate from eating healthy. Instead, I accepted what was before me and prayed that it would nourish me in the way that He desired.
I find myself right where I started, physically and spiritually. I am vulnerable and in great need of His grace.
Sept. 2011 – My flesh was weak and the trails continued. I was not able to make the necessary radical changes in my lifestyle. My sad normalcy continued. Eventually, my prayers were answered in the most undesirable way—I miscarried for the third time. My heart was broken and my womb ached. Still, I trusted that the Good Lord was leading me to something more. I prayed to surrender completely. I could not go on alone.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” I will all the more gladly boast of my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities; for when I am weak, then I am strong. ~2Corinthians 12:9-10
I needed to be in full union with Our Lord. He called me to fully unite myself to Him. I sought direction and rallied my prayer warriors. I went forth to the desert to hear Him speak to me.
I will return to the desert, where He calls me and where I am able to hear Him most clearly. My flesh is weak and my stay will solely depend on His grace.
Please keep me in your prayers.
Ad Jesum per Mariam,
Lena
