Journal Entry

A Blessed Good Day

March 22, 2012 by JOYfilledWELLNESS Filed Under: 7 Day Challenge, Health, Journal Entry 3 Comments

My physical aliments have returned and escalated. They range from MS/adrenal/fibromyalgia-like symptoms. I have dealt with these aliments for many years, thinking they were all in my head and that I could push through them. They have come to point where I can no longer mask them. I desire a complete healing but pray only for His will. I’m opening up now about my health to seek healing, to give comfort to others who may be going through similar issues, and to ultimately glorify God.

Today was one of the tougher days. I was barely able to pry my body out of bed this morning. I said an ejaculation to the good Lord to give me the strength. I managed to get out of bed and tend to the littles. Dad and Rose were scheduled to be gone the entire day. Dragonfly needed some attention but I couldn’t muster up the energy to walk down the stairs. I was able to buy some time by giving him a bath. Dad came to the rescue and took over for me. I slowly ventured my way to the kitchen.

Everyone had already snacked on some fruit so breakfast was not an immediate concern. I decided to shred the pulled-pork that dad placed in the crock-pot last night. I knew it was going to be tuff for me to get food on the table without Dad and Rose the next day so I planned to make carnitas using a recipe found at Paleo Eats. I couldn’t even begin the task so Dad sent me straight to bed while he fixed the crockpot meal.

The meat was absolutely delish. I couldn’t resist having a bowl for breakfast. Papi, my four year old carnivore, had a bowl too. Rose made eggs and sausage for everyone. I sat to eat and was feeling good getting some protein. I went for my glass of water but something was seriously wrong—the glass felt like it weighed a ton. I couldn’t hold my glass of water. I did my best to drink without my hands. I’m sure that Dad and the kids thought I was nuts but they did not say a word. They have learned not to question what mom does since it generally sends me in an emotional downward spiral. Dad, especially, does a great job showing sympathy but not smothering me. He leaves me to fend for myself as he keenly watches over me. He knows that I desire to fight these moments of weakness and he gives me room to gain my strength.

The day moved on and not much improved. The kids set up an indoor playground and I schooled from the couch. The carnitas was the staple for the day.

I dear friend called me to chat for a brief moment. It was a sweet consolation. Then I came across a great inspirational story found at EveryDay Paelo. It was another consolation that helped me get through the rest of my day. God is good!

Finally, we ventured outside when Dragonfly knocked down the front door. I bird watched while they raced down the street. We ate at 4:30pm since I had some energy and I wanted to be certain that no one went without. The girls took note of the early time.

Everyone enjoyed their indoor playground for one last time before the tear down was ordered. It was seven when I skimmed the clock, praise God. I ushered everyone upstairs for the rosary and bedtime routine. Sweetie started a load in the morning and had fresh pjs for everyone. (She is being trained for laundry duty by Rose.) The littles were on the ball, listening the first time and joyfully serving. We said only one decade of the rosary since the intentions lasted just as long as the complete recitation of the rosary. Off to bed at 8pm, exactly.

Sparkles noted during the bedtime routine that today was a good day. When I asked her what she meant, she replied, “Today was a good day, mom. No one was sent to time-out, praise God.” Papi was not there when Sparkles gave that praise. However, he noted the same thing as I tucked him into bed. He gave praise, “Today was a blessed. I love you.” It was indeed, a blessed good day! Sure it had challenges but everyone worked together.

It’s 9:45pm, Dad and Rose are still on the road. Dad had a special appointment and Rose tagged along. Then they went to Adoration and a Solemn High Mass for the Forty Hours Devotion. I trust that they were lifting me up in prayer. Deo gratias!
————-
Breakfast:

1 cup – carnitas
2 – pork sausage
2 – -scrambled eggs

Snack:

.5 cup – carnitas
.5 – apple salad

Lunch:

1 cup – carnitas
.5 – all beef frank (gluten free)

Snack:

1 tablespoon – sunflower seeds
2 – cuties (mandarin orange)

Dinner:

2 cups – carnitas
1 – all beef frank (gluten free)

Drink:

.5 cup – Kombucha Tea
6 cups – water

Exercise:
Zip
Sleep:
I’m waiting for Dad to return. I estimate that it will be 11pm.

Moments of Grace – Suscipio

Prayer & Fasting

March 20, 2012 by JOYfilledWELLNESS Filed Under: Journal Entry, Lent, Miscarriage 2 Comments

I continue to fall and He lifts me up. I trust it is His will for me. It requires me to keep my eyes on Him. I can do nothing without His grace.

I have recently experienced another miscarriage. This is my second miscarriage in six months, fourth in two years. I continue to grieve and pray for a complete healing, Thy will be done. I will continue to journey down this path that He has led me, a healthier lifestyle that will help me to better live out my vocation.

I took some time “off.” I didn’t binge or completely deviate from eating healthy. Instead, I accepted what was before me and prayed that it would nourish me in the way that He desired.

I find myself right where I started, physically and spiritually. I am vulnerable and in great need of His grace.

Sept. 2011 – My flesh was weak and the trails continued. I was not able to make the necessary radical changes in my lifestyle. My sad normalcy continued. Eventually, my prayers were answered in the most undesirable way—I miscarried for the third time. My heart was broken and my womb ached. Still, I trusted that the Good Lord was leading me to something more. I prayed to surrender completely. I could not go on alone.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” I will all the more gladly boast of my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities; for when I am weak, then I am strong. ~2Corinthians 12:9-10

I needed to be in full union with Our Lord. He called me to fully unite myself to Him. I sought direction and rallied my prayer warriors. I went forth to the desert to hear Him speak to me.

I will return to the desert, where He calls me and where I am able to hear Him most clearly. My flesh is weak and my stay will solely depend on His grace.

Please keep me in your prayers.

Ad Jesum per Mariam,

Lena

Time to Recommit

February 18, 2012 by JOYfilledWELLNESS Filed Under: Journal Entry, Lent Leave a Comment

Lent is coming! Part of my family’s Lenten program will be to recommit to a lifestyle change that He has called us to follow. It has not been easy to break free from the poor diet that we had become accustomed to eating but He continues to give us the graces to move down this path so that I can have a complete restoration of health and my family can be nourished with real food – all for His glory!

Prayers for a blessed and fruitful Lenten Season.

~~~

In His joy,

Stress

February 7, 2012 by JOYfilledWELLNESS Filed Under: Fitness, Journal Entry, Stress 2 Comments

It’s the number one reason why I seem to always let my health take a back sit. It’s a vicious cycle. Stress leads me to poor eating, poor fitness, and poor sleep – all of which cause me more stress. Depression is also mixed-up in the stress. I pray to stay rooted in Christ but I often fail. That is what disappoints me most.

I struggle with discerning if my lack of will is due to my flesh or actual ailments. Regardless of the cause, when I fail to eat properly and maintain a basic level of fitness, I fail to give a “Yes” to Him.

I strive to glorify God with all that I have been blessed with, including my body. I desire to maintain optimal health (that He wills me to have) to better fulfill my vocation.

I offer my failures to Him and humbly ask for the grace to move forward.

I will put my recent failures behind me and remain on Mod 3 this week.

May the Good Lord keep me in the race.

GO ALL OUT – ALL FOR!
I have NOT ARRIVED.
I am far from the finish line.
But I am on CHRIST’S TEAM.
His love ignites me.
…His power fuels me.
His mission compels me.
I AM COMMITTED to Christ
and to this race.

No Vertigo

November 5, 2011 by JOYfilledWELLNESS Filed Under: Journal Entry Leave a Comment

5.26.11

i’m feeling much better without carbs and sugar. i’m hoping to see more weight loss by my official weigh-in on mon.
i’m trying hard to give thanks for where i’m at despite the fact that i’ve missed my major WL goals. i am pre-preg weight of baby #4. i have two more babies to go, 20 lbs. i ran for 2.5 miles today. this my first run since the onset of my vertigo. i felt much better than anticipated. my callouses are fading so my feet were slightly raw and sore.

thanks for giving me a tip on the vertigo. it prompted me to look it up again. i came to the conclusion that my vertigo was triggered by a head injury. i’ve had similar symptoms post pregnancy but nothing like what i recently experienced. my condition started immediately after a soccer game. i headed the ball on 2 occasions. both were high impact and caused some immediate dizziness. i was able to regain my composure and continued with the first half. i became extremely light headed at the start of the second half. i wanted to sit out but thought that my dizziness was due to my lack of fitness and hydration. i continued to play. i lost my vision on my way home while driving. rose and i prayed the whole way. still, i passed it off and thought i was in need of food. i stopped at the nearest fast food, taco bell. i could barely take in 2 bites. i was nauseous. finally i arrived to where dad was and i couldn’t even keep my eyes open. i felt like i just stepped off a roller coaster. i couldn’t even walk without guidance. dad thought i had a concussion. it was worse than labor. ok, maybe not that bad but you know what i mean. i experienced excessive vomiting. i slept for the entire weekend.

the symptoms continued up to the present time. they were much milder and intermittent.

i found this link after your post. i decided to perform the simple exercise that was suggested. i haven’t had any symptoms since.

i’m praying that it’s gone for good. i desperately need to get back to training. also, my family will be embarking on a pilgrimage that requires us to walk 13-15 miles a day for 3 days. we will be camping along the way. i need to be free from the dizziness.

lets keep moving!

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