JOYfilledfamily BLOG

Simple Costumes

October 15, 2012 by Lena {JOYfilledfamily} Filed Under: All Saints Day, Costumes 3 Comments

Sparkles and Sweetie finished up the base of their costumes two weeks ago. Sparkles couldn’t wait to sew something after her first sewing project. Sweetie jumped on board.

I followed a simple tutorial for a tunic (Bible time costume) that I found on YouTube. My fabric is sheets from the thrift store.

The girls sewed their tunics and are gathering accessories. We hope to have every thing completed by the end of this week.

We opted to purchase the boy’s costumes this year. Originally, Papi wanted to be St. George and make Dragonfly the dragon. I almost went for it since Nana bought Dragonfly a darling dragon sweat suit like costume. Needless to say, I backed out of that idea – it just didn’t feel right having my lil’ guy representing the Devil. Good call, I know.

Dad spotted the perfect costumes at Costco. We couldn’t pass them up at $24 a piece! It’s all about simplicity in our house these days!

The boys have been wearing their costumes daily since September.

Day 8: Date Night ~ 31 Days of reflections from a pregnant mama

October 13, 2012 by Lena {JOYfilledfamily} Filed Under: 31 Days, Marriage, Pregnancy 2 Comments

Store up your love bank – take as many date nights as possible while you’re waiting for your new bundle of joy. Date nights will be few and far between for the first few months once the baby arrives.

~~~

I needed this reminder today. Dad came home and said, “Let’s go out tonight.” I was still in my workout clothes from my 6am walk. My eyes were bloodshot and I politely declined his invitation so I could plop myself in bed. It took all about ten minutes for me to realize what I had just done – dissed my husband for no good reason. I give thanks for His grace to help me see things clearly – I have a husband who wants to be with me!

Deo gratias!!!

We had a short and sweet date night to the movies. We had plenty of conversation. Nonetheless, we’ll be certain to take our Date Night Questions the next time we go out.

Gift cards are one of the best gifts to give a couple with a handful of children. They make date nights an easy option without the guilt of spending money. Dad and I love gift cards!!!

~~~

This is day 8 of my pregnancy reflections. I realize that I am a few days behind, four days to be exact. I’m trying to own it and fight the urge to account my absence to placenta brain our sleep deprivation.

You can find the other posts of my 31 Days here.

Day 7: Simplicity ~ 31 Days of reflections for a pregnant mama

October 12, 2012 by Lena {JOYfilledfamily} Filed Under: 31 Days, Pregnancy, Simplicity 1 Comment

The call to simplify has intensified with each pregnancy and birth. Perhaps it’s because, with each pregnancy I gain a better understanding of how inapt I am – I can do nothing without Him. He calls me to a simplicity that helps me to embrace my weakness and depend on His strength. It’s a spiritual and physical simplicity.

My prayer life is far from glamorous or saint worthy. It’s merely what I can do, when I an do it, with enough sacrifice that causes discomfort but does not have me stray from my vocation – a wife and pregnant mama homeschooling and nurturing five blessings. I give thanks to God for leading me here since this hasn’t always been the case. I trust that a new season will come my way soon enough, His grace will lead me through anything that is asked of me. I seek to find peace and joy in the moment before me, the present.

We call races and generations Houses; and the Hebrews were wont to speak of the birth of children as “the building up of the house;” as it is written of the Jewish midwives in Egypt, that the Lord “made them houses;” Exod. i. 21. whereby we learn that a good house is not reared so much by the accumulation of worldly goods, as by the bringing up of children in the ways of holiness and of God; and to this end no labour or trouble must be spared, for children are the crown of their parents.

~ St. Francis de Sales, Introduction to the Devout Life (3.38)

My material life is less clear for me. I have a prompting and charism that I am drawn to but I am always in need of direction from my husband and spiritual director since I have the tendency to be too austere for family life with little ones. Below are some of the areas that I am currently working on.

Frugal Living

no superfluous spending – always discerning a purchase from a need or want
up-cycle household items or free items
thrift store shopping & craigslist bargains

ie; dressed the whole family at Easter for $38!!

never buy anything full price if a new item is, in fact, needed
homemade goods

homemade shampoo
homemade toothpaste
homemade laundry soap
homemade condiments
homemade cleaners

Clean Eating

no processed foods
no gluten

Schedule

daily schedule that revolves around prayer and the liturgical calendar – not academics and social calendar

Mass, parish functions, take precedence

extracurriculars are extremely limited

dinner most be together as a family (perfereably at home)
NO SUNDAY activities
all liturgical celebrations take precedent over any worldly activity, “PERIOD”
No money, no activity. We don’t break our budget or call on mammon to provide for our wants. We trust that God will provide for what He wills for us.

most extracurriculars have been replaced with an activity that can be done as a family
Dad’s work is flexible

allowing Him to be head of the household in a physical and spiritual sense.

always set time to serve the Church through our parish as well as time to help a sister or brother in Christ

Minimalist living

less stuff for me, means more room for Him and those that He has put before me
major purge is always taking place in my home

so much so that I have caught my two year old playing “…like mama” with a black garbage bag and all his toys.

the house is fully furnished but I remember the time when we moved into a new home with only one sofa and a dining set with four chairs. we often sat on the floor and had more room to roam in 1600sf than we ever had in 3200sf.
we’ve gradually downsized our living out of necessity and desire. we continue to downsize.
we’re scaling down our wardrobes and not storing quit as much for the different season.

I am far from my goal but I remain steadfast in my journey, praying that it lead my family home and be done all for His glory.

~~~

We all are inadequate to live the heroism of life in Christ, but God’s grace is sufficient to make His power perfect in us in our weakness ~2 Cor 12:9

~~~

This is day 7 of my pregnancy reflections. I realize that I am a few days behind, four days to be exact. I’m trying to own it and fight the urge to account my absence to placenta brain our sleep deprivation.

You can find the other posts of my 31 Days here.

Rose’s Senior Pictures

October 10, 2012 by Lena {JOYfilledfamily} Filed Under: Homeschooling, Rose, Rose GFG

The time has come, Rose is wrapping up her homeschool years. We decided to have some fun after our school photo session.

~~~

We remain steadfast in prayer as she continues to discern His holy will.

~~~

PRAYER FOR YOUTH TO BEG THE DIVINE DIRECTION 
IN THE CHOICE OF A STATE OF LIFE. 

O ALMIGHTY God! Whose wise and amiable prov- 
idence watches over every human event, deign to 
be my light and my counsel in all my undertakings, 
particularly in the choice of a state of life. I know 
that on this important step my sanctification and 
salvation may in a great measure depend. I know 
that I am incapable of discerning what may be best 
for me; therefore I cast myself into Thy arms, beseech- 
ing Thee, my God, Who hast sent me into this world 
only to love and serve Thee, to direct by Thy grace 
every moment and action of my life to the glorious 
end of my creation. I renounce most sincerely every 
other wish, than to fulfill Thy designs on my soul, 
whatever they may be; and I beseech Thee to give me 
the grace, by imbibing the true spirit of a Christian, 
to qualify myself for any state of life to which Thy 
adorable providence may call me. O my God! when- 
ever it may become my duty to make a choice, do Thou 
be my light and my counsel, and mercifully deign to 
make the way known to me wherein I should walk, for 
I have lifted up my soul to Thee. Preserve me from 
listening to the suggestions of my own self-love, or 
worldly prudence, in prejudice to Thy holy inspirations. 
Thy good Spirit lead me into the right way, and 
Thy adorable providence place me, not where I may 
be happiest, according to the world, but in that state 
in which I Shall love and serve Thee most perfectly, 
and meet with most abundant means for working out 
my salvation. This is all that I ask and all that I 
desire; for what would it avail me to gain the whole 
world, if, in the end, I were to lose my soul and to be 
so unfortunate as to prefer temporal advantages and 
worldly honors to the enjoyment of Thy divine presence 
in a happy eternity? 

Most holy Virgin Mary, take me under thy protection. 

My good angel guardian and patron saints, pray 
for me. Amen.

RMGS ~ Hospitality & Love of God ~ Sewing

October 9, 2012 by Lena {JOYfilledfamily} Filed Under: Apron, Love of God, RMGS, RMGS 2012-13, San Bruno, Sewing

Rosa Mystica Girls’s Society met for our second meeting of the 2012-13 Session on First Saturday, Oct. 6, 2012. There were twenty-eight girls in attendance for Mass (as a group) and thirty-two girls for the meeting.

Once again, the girls were divided into six groups; Love of God, Industry, Truthfulness, Humility, Piety, and Obedience.

Lesson:

Our new Chaplain, Father B, visited the girls while they were eating snack. The girls stood-up to greet him. Father excused them and invited them to finish their food. In fact, he insisted that they finish eating before he began his lesson. I think it’s a French thing.

Father B’s lesson was on the topic of hospitality and love of God. He spoke about the life of San Bruno, the Benedictine Monks, and the Cartesian monks.

Here are some highlights that I took note of from Father’s talk.

San Bruno, whose feast day we celebrate today (10.6), spent time with the Benedictine Monks. The monk’s role is hospitality, to welcome people. They will take care of everyone who comes to the door. San Bruno wanted more enclosure. He founded the Cartesian Monks with the approval of San Hugues.

The Cartesians live in a monastery that is divided into small houses. Each Cartesian monk lives in his one bedroom, in solitude. He cannot speak all his life. He eats in his room. He prays in solitude. The monk’s life consists solely of work, prayer, and study. It is the most difficult life.

It is said that there are many saints in the Cartesian monasteries that no one knows, only God. They desire to be in the Sacred Heart of Jesus. They have a profound humility. In fact, a Cartesian will never name himself as author of a book. His work will only state that it was authored by a Cartesian Monk. Few monks have been canonized because of their humility to remain unknown.

~~~

Why did His heart re-start after three days (Resurrection)? HE LOVES US! Every heartbeat of the Lord is for us, every single one of us!

Is the heart of Jesus still beating today? Yes, because He loves us.

Only one man has listened to the heart of Jesus, who is he? John.

You must take the time to listen to your heart to understand how is works.

In time of trial or temptation, seek to listen to the heart of Jesus. Say, “I would like to listen to the heart of Jesus.” You will see your heart come down and the temptation will be removed.

Love God as He as loved you. Pray for the Blessed Mother’s intercession.

AN ACT OF LOVE

O my God, I love Thee with my whole heart and above all things, because Thou art the supreme Good, and most worthy of our love. For the love of Thee I will love my neighbor as myself.

Skill:

The girls were then given an overview of their sewing project, a simple apron. Each girl was able to select her desired apron combination.

The first group consisted of nineteen girls, ages 9-10. Their aprons were completely prepped for them to begin sewing. Note, the focus of this skill set is to give the girls an introduction to sewing so that they gain interest to continue to learn about the skill.

The other group consisted of nineteen girls, ages 11-13. Those girls were given pre-cut fabric and ties. They were instructed to complete the necessary steps so that they could begin their sewing at next month’s meeting.

Majority of the younger girls had the opportunity to sew at the machine with the guidance of a mom or older sister. Those that were not able to sew will be the first on the sewing machine in November.

The sewing helpers did a wonderful job instructing the girls while allowing them to be an active participant in the sewing process.

The older girls diligently completed their tasks.

turn ties if needed
iron waist and neck ties
pin ties to top fabric
pin lining to top fabric, enclosing the ties
help one another

A complete tutorial for this project was included in the girls’ Hospitality Binders.

Name tags were worked on when the main sewing project was completed.

Handouts:

Agenda for meeting

Prayers:

An Act of Love

Hospitality:

Activity Sheet – Hospitality & Love of God ~ Sewing – includes suggested activities to help the girls grow in virtue and the skill of sewing

Jo’s Boys

Handout on the history of an apron

Theological Virtues Flower

Sewing:

Tutorial: Simple Apron – complete instructions for our sewing project. Inspired by here and here.

Wrap-up:

We began to close the meeting at 11:45pm, thanks to the reminder from Mrs. G – time flies when you’re having fun!

The girls wrapped up their projects and labeled their work so that it could be easily found at the next meeting. Their group areas were tidied. The worker moms did their magic while I closed the meeting with a recap of the day’s lesson and skill.

The girls were informed of the new handouts that were placed in their binders. They were encouraged to complete the related activities to further develop a Love of God, hospitality, and sewing skills.

The question of the day was answered, “Can I take home my apron to work on it?” The answer was, “Yes! You may take home the apron to work on it as long as you follow the directions that were given in class, bring it back the following month, and I have the consent of your mom.”

The girls were also reminded about the upcoming Fall Bake Sale on October 21 – sign-up today!

The meeting closed with the Angelus.

Our Lady of the Mystical Rose, pray for us!

~~~

Thank you to all the moms and girls who gave a hand with instruction and after the meeting for clean-up. We appreciate your help! Things were a bit hectic but it turned out great. We especially appreciate all the help from the moms sharing their skills on the sewing machine. Our goal is to assist the girls in following the complete directions (without deviation) in the skill set while being as hands-off as possible. It’s a fine dance but you all managed to make it look effortless. Great Job! We hope to see you all again for the next two months while we complete the aprons. ALL FOR!

Day 6: Birth Story ~ 31 Days of reflections for a pregnant mama

October 9, 2012 by Lena {JOYfilledfamily} Filed Under: 31 Days, Baby, Birth plan, Birth Story, Dragonfly, Pregnancy

Lena & Gary – May 2010

BABY ENZO

This is a bit personal and I usually don’t share such a thing but I’m learning to become an open book – ALL FOR!

Below is my birth story for Enzo, AKA Dragonfly. He was my eighth pregnancy and fifth (living) baby. He was also my first labor after my very necessary c-section for Papi. I opted to have Enzo in the hospital because despite my greatest efforts, I could not afford the additional costs of a midwife and homebirth. I doubt I would have opted for the hospital birth if I didn’t have the excellent care of the assistant chief of staff at a hospital with an exceptional model of care for pregnant mamas.

I came into this birth knowing exactly what I wanted and needed to have a successful labor. It was spelled out for the entire medical staff in my very lengthy and detailed birth plan. The Good Lord gave me the graces to be at complete peace prior to going into full labor.

This is the story of my 24+ hour labor and delivery that I refer to as my home birth in the hospital.

~~~

Thursday, May 13

It was a long labor that started after a “calm” that scared me on Thursday, May 13. I was out trying to run errands in my last effort to be active. Enzo decided to give me a reprieve before my long labor to come. His movement for the day was slowed to the point that I became nervous and decided to go into L & D to be checked. Needless to say, he was fine.

Friday, May 14

Slow irregular contractions started to take wave on Friday evening. This is typical for me. I knew it was the start of labor for me but still remained poised because I anticipated my normal, long labor to follow. The contractions picked up and were consistent throughout the evening but did not persist. I was able to find good quality rest time. Gary stood home to help with the kids.

Saturday, May 15

Saturday rolled around and my contractions started to become more regular but were still mild. Once again, I remained poised. I stood upstairs worked through each contraction and rested when able. I had wonderful coaches and company from kids who managed to sneak by Gary throughout the day to get to me. Papi helped me out with my birthing ball exercises, Sweetie messaged me when needed, Sparkles and Rose did whatever was asked. I had a great team! Still, I knew I had a ways to go but did leave hope that my water would break soon.

My contractions intensified Saturday evening and I tried different pain management techniques with Gary within my home so as to prepare prior to the hospital visit. I didn’t want to be stuck without some absolute options of ways to soothe me (this labor) while having no other true support team once I got to the hospital. We finalized the optimal positions/exercises for me using the birth ball. Gary mastered his massage technique and I experimented with the shower and tub. It was concluded that the birthing pool would be a must for me again this time around.

Sunday, May 16

I knew I was not anywhere near the point of delivery but had progressed in labor. My contractions were strong enough and close enough to get me to consider making the trip to the hospital. I would have loved to stay home longer but wasn’t sure how I would do in a 1 hr car ride with more intense contractions.

5 am

Gary and I decided it would be best to go to the hospital while we were at this point in labor. We were both calm and would be able to set up at the hospital without being rushed.

Gary drove me to the hospital after Papa arrived for the kids at 6:00 am. I sat in the back of the van on my exercise ball and ate my breakfast between contractions. I continued my hydration regime that I started on Saturday. I wanted to be sure that I did not become dehydrated.

7am

I was assessed and given a room. All the amenities were set up since I was dilated to six and it was baby number five for me. The nurses and midwife thought that I would be having a baby soon. I reassured them that I have long labors and continued to labor on my own with Gary.

The entire medical staff at the hospital was more than accommodating to my wishes spelled out in my rather lengthy birth plan. I was encouraged to turn in my detailed birth plan by a midwife that I met about a week prior. She reassured me that it would be read and scanned into the system and followed as closely as possible. She also sought approval from another Head of the Department. This approval was placed in my record. I’m sure all of these facts helped me to get the care I desired.

12 am

I continued to practice my birthing exercises with Gary throughout the morning in the hospital. I tried out the shower a couple of times. Sunday afternoon rolled around and I knew that our precious baby would not be coming anytime soon. Everything was going smoothly and slow. I was able to eat and drink through my labor as I wished. I did not pass any opportunities. Gary went out around 4pm to pick up a pizza and more Gatorade. I rested on my back in bed for the first time in several months. We ate dinner together and teased that this was turning out to be a great vacation.

My “vacation” did not last long. My contractions began to pick up again. I refocused and went back to work. Slow and steady was the tempo. My water did not break until 1 am on Monday morning. By that time I had already had three nurses change shift and two midwives. The midwife on duty diligently announced that I could start pushing. I reassured her that I did not work that way, typically I would have four-six more hours of labor. She did not seem too interested in my own assessment but left me to it.

Monday, May 17

1 am

Slow and steadied, I continued. The midwife was scheduled to change shift soon and she made another appearance before leaving. She reiterated that I could start pushing and if things did not progress that we could talk about other options. I was not at all interested in other options and planned to avoid any further discussions at all costs.

I began what would be my longest battle with pushing. Despite my better judgment, I went for it and started pushing with my contractions at 3 am – 5 am. Needless to say, there was no progress. I knew that I was not cooperating with my body and allowing my contractions to do their job, however slow that may have been.

It became intense and my back labor was like no other. I spent most of my time in the shower but longed for a break from the back pain. I even managed to place a phone call to a doula (who so kindly offered me her free phone service). I called to inquire if there was a magical way not to have such intense back labor. She reiterated all the techniques that we were already trying. I had become physically drained and emotionally defeated. Not to mention, Gary was out like a log. He was operating on two hours of sleep.

5 am

It was about 5 am and I sat on the bed with Gary at my side. We were both exhausted and it was well written on our faces. The new shift of nurses arrived. My nurse, Shawna, walked in and immediately began to put me at ease. She reassured me that I could take a break to gain a much needed rest. However, I was not completely sold. I was ready for baby Enzo to be out!

She allowed me to continue as I desired while staying by our side. She saw me through a series of contractions and witnessed my complete exhaustion first hand. She offered me another option, to be checked for dilation. She stated that if I were ready I could continue to push and if not, that I should get some rest. It turned out that I was at nine with some cervix left. Whether this was a result of pushing unnecessarily or just my body taking its sweet time, I do not know. Whatever the cause, I was due for a rest. No more pushing!

My contractions and hard back labor continued but I was able to withstand them and embrace the work that my body was doing. I was no longer being counterproductive. This was difficult for me because the previous midwife had me so defeated that I began second guessing my body. That’s where Shawna came in. She walked me through my meditations and breathing – reassuring me the entire way that my body was doing its job and baby Enzo would be here shortly.

12:30 pm

I did not want her to leave! She was such a tremendous help to both Gary and I. She left on break at about 12:30. At which point I decided that I was ready to have baby Enzo and so I decided to speed things up naturally for myself – a shower always helps me get contractions going. I made Shawna promise that she would come back it I called her.

Within 30 minutes in the shower I was ready to push. Once again, I began to double guess my body due to the previous long episode of pushing. Where was Shawna? I pulled the emergency cord in the shower and informed the nurse’s station that I needed Shawna. In ran the new midwife on duty.

She began to introduce herself to me and I interrupted her to inform her that I knew who she was but I wanted Shawna. The midwife was not too happy with this request. "What can I help you with," she persisted. I told her, "I’m no longer sure if I’m ready to push or just experiencing pressure.” She offered to check and I hesitantly agreed. She informed me that in fact I was completely dilated and ready to go. She then urged me to get out of the shower. At which point I told her that I would stay in the shower until Shawna got back on watch. The midwife left and within seconds, guess who showed up… Shawna. She was beckoned from her break.

I began to push just as she came in to assess me. I could hear the midwife urging me to make it to the bed. I informed her that baby Enzo’s head was already out and that I would not be making it anywhere. She managed to have Shawna and Gary help me walk to the bed while I postponed pushing.

1:11 pm

Baby Enzo was born shortly after another series of exchanges of the midwife’s desires vs. my own desires.

He gave a brief scare. The cord was wrapped tightly around his neck, his face was blue, and he was not breathing. He was immediately taken to the infant bed for treatment. Gary kept watch on him while I lay there praying for for the intercession of the Blessed Mother to accept God’s will.

“We have a heart beat……..he’s breathing……” Praise be to God! Enzo was just fine. He made his way to me and began to nurse.

Monday, May 24

Baby Enzo is a big boy with a sweet disposition. He reminds me of his daddy in many ways. His sisters can’t get enough of him and his brother constantly keeps guard of him. Thank you all for your prayers and well wishes. DEO GATIAS

“Enzo” to mom & “Gio” to dad

~~~

Giorgio Lorenzo

May 17, 2010 ~ 1:11pm

9.14 lbs ~ 20.5 in

In His Joy,

~~~

This is day 6 of my pregnancy reflections. You can find the other posts of my 31 Days here.

Birth Story Link-up

Days 5: Placenta Brain ~ 31 Days of reflections from a pregnant mama

October 7, 2012 by Lena {JOYfilledfamily} Filed Under: 31 Days, Diet, Health, Pregnancy 1 Comment

…something that affects many women, both during and after pregnancy. It manifests itself as simple forgetfulness, loss of memory, and other minor problems. ~ pregnanacyabout.com

~~~

I was pregnant with my fourth child when I heard the term, Placenta Brain. There I sat in my midwife’s home/office attempting to share a complete thought but had to apologize over and over for my forgetfulness. She excused my memory loss as placenta brain. I owned it!

My placenta brain hasn’t quite kicked in this time around. There are lapses but overall my brain has not been taken over. I’m giving thanks for His grace at this moment and for His grace to have led me to a healthier way of eating. There is no doubt in my mind that I have avoided many “pregnancy related” symptoms due to my diet going into this pregnancy. No sugars and grains seems to be key for me. Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t been perfect. In fact, I’m just getting over my normal pregnancy meat aversion. The difference this time around is that it only lasted a few months instead of the whole pregnancy.

Another purge, is in order. I‘ll get right to it, after my late night ice-cream tonight.

My wackiest moment was post pregnancy. I frantically called for my little one. I beckoned the help of everyone within reach to search for my baby. Rose stared at me with disbelief. I ordered her to go find her sis. She hesitantly replied, “Uhh, Mom…. Sparkles is with you!” I looked down to confirm her observation, I was in fact nursing Sparkles. Placenta brain is the real thing!

Have you ever experienced placenta brain? If so, what’s the wackiest thing that you have done during your altered state?

In His Joy,

~~~

This is day 5 of my pregnancy reflections. You can find the other posts of my 31 Days here.

31 Days of reflections from a pregnant mama ~ complete series

October 7, 2012 by Lena {JOYfilledfamily} Filed Under: 31 Days, Pregnancy

Join me in a 31 days series as we reflect on the thoughts and issues that are raised in the mind of a pregnant mama.

In His Joy,

P.S. The pic of the pregnant mama was created at DesignHerGals.com, a place to create personalized stationary. The pregnant mama is my ideal version of me during pregnancy. I gave thanks that the site didn’t offer a preg option for their plus size gals. I’ve decided to enjoy this version of me – ALL FOR!

Day 4: Gender Reveal ~ 31 Days of reflections from a pregnant mama

October 4, 2012 by Lena {JOYfilledfamily} Filed Under: 31 Days, Baby, Pregnancy

This is day 4 of my pregnancy reflections. You can find the other posts of my 31 Days here.

~~~

Do you like to find out the gender of your baby before your baby is born? I have mixed feelings on the issue. My preference seems to change with each baby. Ultimately, I would opt to wait until birth. Dad and the kids feel the opposite, they rather find out sooner than later.

I have made a precedent that we won’t find out if a sonogram is not needed. You see, I don’t follow the mainstream model of care – I only opt for what is necessary. I will get a sonogram if it is ordered by my midwife or doctor (with good reason). In which case, we find out the sex of the baby. No sonogram needed, we wait until birth.

I must say that I have enjoyed the times that I’ve found out the sex of the baby early on in pregnancy. I enjoy refereeing to the baby by name. Referring to the baby by name is especially helpful to me during my ~~passion~~ long, non-medicated labors. I feel a closer connection.

There is always an elation when I hear Dad announce what the baby is at the moment of birth, regardless if it is a complete surprise or I know ahead of time. It is always as though it were the first time hearing the news.

This time around I was scheduled for a routine ultrasound without much need expressed by the doctor. I went along with the appointment because I felt some concern about the location of placenta, lack of fetal movement, and difficulty finding the heartbeat. The appointment was scheduled for me at 20 weeks and 3 days. I was almost certain that the sex of the baby would be revealed.

All my kids waited five long months in great anticipation. Each one had their vote of gender. I was surprised by Papi’s persistent preference – a girl. Papi insisted that it should be a girl, no matter how many times we emphasized our thankfulness for whatever God gives us.

The appointment was scheduled in the early morning. Dad was not able to return home with me. I pulled up in the driveway and the van was mobbed by the littles before I could even put it into park. They all shouted, “What is it, what is it?” I shrugged, “I can’t tell until Dad gets home.” That’s right, they had to wait an agonizing four hours.

I had hopes for a cute reveal but couldn’t pull it off since all the stores I stopped out were out of helium. I took the ~~lazy~~ easy road and purchased cookies that would give away the gender.

The kids waited with even more anticipation than before.

Here’s the reveal.

In His JOY,

Day 3: Potty Training ~ 31 Days of reflections from a pregnant mama

October 3, 2012 by Lena {JOYfilledfamily} Filed Under: 31 Days, Potty Training, Pregnancy

This is day 3 of my pregnancy reflections. You can find the other posts of my 31 Days here.

~~~

What does potty training have to do with pregnancy? Everything, in my home. In fact, pregnancy is my number one motivator to either start or wrap up the potty training business for the littlest one in the house. This time around was no different.
Dragonfly showed signs of readiness right before he turned two but I didn’t have the energy to take him any further. I kept the thought of potty training on my long to do list. That is until I found out I was pregnant. I can’t ever imagine having two children in diapers at the same time. Nor would I have the stamina to potty train with a new born in tote. Needless to say, potty training soon became a top priority for the entire family.
I believe the best time to start potty training is when you’re ready and the child has shown signs of interest/readiness. There is no magical number and I would never advise a mom to rush it or make her feel like a failure for waiting too long.
Having said that, my children are usually at the age of two and have already shown signs of readiness when I decide to start potty training . Rose was an exceptional case. She decided that she was a big girl at age 1.5 and started using the potty on her own. Some of those signs include, not liking the feel of a wet diaper, signaling that they’re about to go potty, and consistently waking up with a dry diaper after bed time. The last one is key for me, I figure if they can sleep without going potty, they can learn to control it at other times of the day.
Here are my key tips that have helped me successfully potty train* four children within 2 weeks.

Make it a family affair
Become all or nothing
Use a timer
Prepare for accidents
Use positive ~~peer~~ sibling pressure
Reward with a sweet treat (Yes, bribe the child)

*This does not mean that you will be permanently accident free. I declare potty training success when the child can tell you that he has to go potty before an accident and when the number of incidents of potty in the potty far outweigh potty elsewhere.
Make it a family affair
That’s right, the ENTIRE family. Potty training in my home is a family affair. It’s been that way since I had only one child. Pretty much everything in my home is a family affair – it’s what works for us. It helps that we homeschool and Dad works out of the house. I don’t think that I would have the same success with potty training if Dad and the siblings didn’t commit to helping.
Each member for the family must take on a task.
Become all or nothing
Potty training in my home is all or nothing. I don’t use diapers or pull-ups during the day while at home. I will occasionally use pull-ups when traveling but I always put underwear over the pull-up. That leaves the little one in their birthday suite for majority of the day. I’m not opposed to pull-ups or even a diaper during bed time but that’s usually not needed for us since I wait to potty train until the child can go through the night with a clean diaper. Also, most of my kids didn’t like the feel of diapers once they would go the whole day without one.
Another tip is to limit the supply of diapers in the house so that there are no temptations to take the easy road and diaper – I speak from experience.
Timer
The timer is another key tool for potty training, all training in my home for that matter. My mother used it when I was young and I’ve used it in my home since Rose was a baby. It serves as a reminder for child and parent. It also helps the child get a grasp on time. More importantly, the timer can’t be argued with!
I start potty training with the timer set for smaller increments of time, five-eight minutes. I take the child to the restroom at the beep of the timer. I say something like, “It’s time to go potty – yeah.” or, “Let’s go potty.” I never ask the child if he has to go potty, at least not at this stage in the game.
I will take the child potty when I see the potty sign coming on. Every child has one. It’s been different for each of my children but it’s always been one of the following:

facial expression
grabbing at private area
retreating to a private place

The time increments of the timer should increase when you see improvements in the child’s reception of potty training, to the point when the child signals you that he has to go potty. At which point, the timer can be done away.
It is helpful to reintroduce the timer if there is a regression during potty training.
Family affair – I usually put a dependable child on timer duty. That child serves as my secondary reminder. The nearest sibling or parent must take the child potty when the timer rings or spots a potty sign. Even the child who is two years older can guide the potty training child to the restroom and call for help.
Prepare for accidents
I always tease that I don’t need a puppy when I have a child potty training. That’s right, it’s inevitable, accidents will happen. Being prepared for the accident is key. Have the necessary clean-up supplies on hand in a easy to reach spot. I prefer a caddy or basket that even the smallest child can fetch when needed.
I almost always have the potty training child help with clean-up. Each of my kids would throw away their own diaper when old enough to walk, I see this as being no different.
Family affair – The rule is, you’re responsible to help with clean-up if the accident happens in your vicinity or on your watch. This rule applies to everyone in the home. It keeps us accountable and gives us an incentive to be tuned into the ~~little leak machine~~ potty training child.
Use positive ~~peer~~ sibling pressure
The siblings are generally each other’s number one fans, with the little ones idolizing the older ones. I hone in on this fact during potty training time. All the siblings must cheer and root for the potty training child. I’m talking in a vocal way. They must shout songs of praise, clap, cheer, and offer what other fun noise that they like to make in celebration. Simple words of praise go a long way for the little one.

Good job brother!
YEAAAAAAAA Dragonfly!
WHOOT WHOOT!

Hugs and kisses come without encouragement.
Reward with a sweet treat (Yes, bribe the child.)
I’m not afraid to say it, I use bribery when it comes to potty training. I guess I could call it “positive reinforcement” if I were trying to be PC. Bribery, it is!
I buy a special treat that is not stocked in the home on a regular basis, something that suits the child’s preference. In the past it’s been either M&Ms or Jelly Belly candies. This time around I struggled a bit since we have gone clean with our diet. In the end, I decided that I couldn’t deprive my little guy of this right of passage in my home – candy for going potty.
The treats of choice this time around were Sour Beans, Gummy Bears, and Lollipops. All the treats are made by Yummy Earth. They’re organic and gluten free.
Here’s how it works. The child goes potty. It most be a legitimate use of the potty not just a sight seeing visit or test drive.
Once the potty business is done, I (or whoever took him potty) parades him to the treat area. All the siblings are rallied, “Come on….., Dragonfly went potty in the potty!” They all run in with shouts of joy, “WHOOT WHOOT! Potty in the potty, potty in the potty! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH Dragonfly!”
The siblings line up so that the potty training child can pass out his treats – one for each sibling. But before the sibling can receive the treat, he must give another sign or shout of praise to the successful potty trainer. The potty training child can enjoy his treat once his goodies have been distributed.
The lollipops are used for #2, “poo-poo on the potty!” The same steps above are followed.
Treating all the siblings to this treat is key. Everyone has something to look forward to when a little one starts potty training in the home. It helps them to become invested in the success of their sibling. Even the seventeen year old and the dog get in on the action!
(I hope to dig up a pic of this cute scene of my four children and chocolate lab lined up at the feet of a two year old with candy.)

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I would be happy to answer any questions about what has worked in my home. Also, I would be delighted to hear your #1 potty training tip. Leave a comment or drop me an email.

In His JOY,

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