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31 Days of reflections from a pregnant mama ~ complete series

October 7, 2012 by Lena {JOYfilledfamily} Filed Under: 31 Days, Pregnancy

31 Days of reflections from a pregnant mama - JOYfilledfamily

Join me in a 31 days series as we reflect on the thoughts and issues that are raised in the mind of a pregnant mama.
  • Day 1: Intro
  • Day 2: Nesting
  • Day 3: Potty Training
  • Day 4: Gender Reveal
  • Day 5: Placenta Brain
  • Day 6: Birth Story
  • Day 7: Simplicity
  • Day 8: Date Nights
  • Day 9: Pregnancy Loss
  • Day 10: Birth Plan 
  • Day 11: A Master Bedroom & Birthing Suite
  • Day 12: Labor Playlist 
  • Day 13:  Labor & Delivery Readiness
  • Day 14: Pre-Birth Story – His Peace Propels Me 

In His Joy,

P.S.  The pic of the pregnant mama was created at DesignHerGals.com, a place to create personalized stationary.  The pregnant mama is my ideal version of me during pregnancy.  I gave thanks that the site didn’t offer a preg option for their plus size gals.  I’ve decided to enjoy this version of me – ALL FOR!

Day 4: Gender Reveal ~ 31 Days of reflections from a pregnant mama

October 4, 2012 by Lena {JOYfilledfamily} Filed Under: 31 Days, Baby, Pregnancy

This is day 4 of my pregnancy reflections. You can find the other posts of my 31 Days here.

~~~

Do you like to find out the gender of your baby before your bPA040435aby is born?  I have mixed feelings on the issue.  My preference seems to change with each baby.  Ultimately, I would opt to wait until birth.  Dad and the kids feel the opposite, they rather find out sooner than later. 

I have made a precedent that we won’t find out if a sonogram is not needed.  You see, I don’t follow the mainstream model of care – I only opt for what is necessary.  I will get a sonogram if it is ordered by my midwife or doctor (with good reason).  In which case, we find out the sex of the baby.  No sonogram needed, we wait until birth.

I must say that I have enjoyed the times that I’ve found out the sex of the baby early on in pregnancy.  I enjoy refereeing to the baby by name.  Referring to the baby by name is especially helpful to me during my passion long, non-medicated labors.  I feel a closer connection.

There is always an elation when I hear Dad announce what the baby is at the moment of birth, regardless if it is a complete surprise or I know ahead of time.  It is always as though it were the first time hearing the news.

This time around I was scheduled for a routine ultrasound without much need expressed by the doctor.  I went along with the appointment because I felt some concern about the location of placenta, lack of fetal movement, and difficulty finding the heartbeat.  The appointment was scheduled for me at 20 weeks and 3 days.  I was almost certain that the sex of the baby would be revealed.

All my kids waited five long months in great anticipation.  Each one had their vote of gender.  I was surprised by Papi’s persistent preference – a girl.  Papi insisted that it should be a girl, no matter how many times we emphasized our thankfulness for whatever God gives us.

The appointment was scheduled in the early morning.  Dad was not able to return home with me.  I pulled up in the driveway and the van was mobbed by the littles before I could even put it into park.  They all shouted, “What is it, what is it?”  I shrugged, “I can’t tell until Dad gets home.”  That’s right, they had to wait an agonizing four hours.

I had hopes for a cute reveal but couldn’t pull it off since all the stores I stopped out were out of helium.  I took the lazy  easy road and purchased cookies that would give away the gender.

The kids waited with even more anticipation than before.

Here’s the reveal.

 

PA040423

 

In His JOY,

Day 3: Potty Training ~ 31 Days of reflections from a pregnant mama

October 3, 2012 by Lena {JOYfilledfamily} Filed Under: 31 Days, Potty Training, Pregnancy

This is day 3 of my pregnancy reflections. You can find the other posts of my 31 Days here.
~~~

What does potty training have to do with pregnancy?  Everything, in my home.  In fact, pregnancy is my number one motivator to either start or wrap up the potty training business for the littlest one in the house.  This time around was no different. 
Dragonfly showed signs of readiness right before he turned two but I didn’t have the energy to take him any further.  I kept the thought of potty training on my long to do list.  That is until I found out I was pregnant.  I Dragonfly showing intetrest of the potty at 22 mos.can’t ever imagine having two children in diapers at the same time.  Nor would I have the stamina to potty train with a new born in tote.  Needless to say, potty training soon became a top priority for the entire family.
I believe the best time to start potty training is when you’re ready and the child has shown signs of interest/readiness.  There is no magical number and I would never advise a mom to rush it or make her feel like a failure for waiting too long.
Having said that, my children are usually at the age of two and have already shown signs of readiness when I decide to start potty training . Rose was an exceptional case. She decided that she was a big girl at age 1.5 and started using the potty on her own. Some of those signs include, not liking the feel of a wet diaper, signaling that they’re about to go potty, and consistently waking up with a dry diaper after bed time. The last one is key for me, I figure if they can sleep without going potty, they can learn to control it at other times of the day.
Here are my key tips that have helped me successfully potty train* four children within 2 weeks. 

  • Make it a family affair
  • Become all or nothing
  • Use a timer
  • Prepare for accidents
  • Use positive peer sibling pressure
  • Reward with a sweet treat (Yes, bribe the child)

*This does not mean that you will be permanently accident free. I declare potty training success when the child can tell you that he has to go potty before an accident and when the number of incidents of potty in the potty far outweigh potty elsewhere.
Make it a family affair
That’s right, the ENTIRE family.  Potty training in my home is a family affair.  It’s been that way since I had only one child.  Pretty much everything in my home is a family affair – it’s what works for us.  It helps that we homeschool and Dad works out of the house.  I don’t think that I would have the same success with potty training if Dad and the siblings didn’gio - officially potty trainedt commit to helping.   
Each member for the family must take on a task.
Become all or nothing
Potty training in my home is all or nothing.  I don’t use diapers or pull-ups during the day while at home.  I will occasionally use pull-ups when traveling but I always put underwear over the pull-up.  That leaves the little one in their birthday suite for majority of the day.  I’m not opposed to pull-ups or even a diaper during bed time but that’s usually not needed for us since I wait to potty train until the child can go through the night with a clean diaper.  Also, most of my kids didn’t like the feel of diapers once they would go the whole day without one. 
Another tip is to limit the supply of diapers in the house so that there are no temptations to take the easy road and diaper – I speak from experience.
Timer
The timetimerr is another key tool for potty training, all training in my home for that matter.  My mother used it when I was young and I’ve used it in my home since Rose was a baby.  It serves as a reminder for child and parent.  It also helps the child get a grasp on time.  More importantly, the timer can’t be argued with! 
I start potty training with the timer set for smaller increments of time, five-eight minutes.  I take the child to the restroom at the beep of the timer.  I say something like, “It’s time to go potty – yeah.” or, “Let’s go potty.”  I never ask the child if he has to go potty, at least not at this stage in the game.
I will take the child potty when I see the potty sign coming on.  Every child has one.  It’s been different for each of my children but it’s always been one of the following:

  • facial expression
  • grabbing at private area
  • retreating to a private place

The time increments of the timer should increase when you see improvements in the child’s reception of potty training, to the point when the child signals you that he has to go potty.  At which point, the timer can be done away.
It is helpful to reintroduce the timer if there is a regression during potty training.
Family affair – I usually put a dependable child on timer duty.  That child serves as my secondary reminder.  The nearest sibling or parent must take the child potty when the timer rings or spots a potty sign.  Even the child who is two years older can guide the potty training child to the restroom and call for help.
Prepare for accidents
I always tease that I don’t need a puppy when I have a child potty training.  That’s right, it’s inevitable, accidents will happen.  Being prepared for the accident is key.  Have the necessary clean-up supplies on hand in a easy to reach spot.  I prefer a caddy or basket that even the smallest child can fetch when needed. 
I almost always have the potty training child help with clean-up.  Each of my kids would throw away their own diaper when old enough to walk, I see this as being no different. 
Family affair – The rule is, you’re responsible to help with clean-up if the accident happens in your vicinity or on your watch.  This rule applies to everyone in the home.  It keeps us accountable and gives us an incentive to be tuned into the little leak machine potty training child.
Use positive peer sibling pressure
The siblings are generally each other’s number one fans, with the little ones idolizing the older ones.  I hone in on this fact during potty training time.  All the siblings must cheer and root for the potty training child.  I’m talking in a vocal way.  They must shout songs of praise, clap, cheer, and offer what other fun noise that they like to make in celebration.  Simple words of praise go a long way for the little one.

  • Good job brother!
  • YEAAAAAAAA Dragonfly!
  • WHOOT WHOOT!

Hugs and kisses come without encouragement.
Reward with a sweet treat (Yes, bribe the child.)
I’m not afraid to say it, I use bribery when it comes to potty training.  I guess I could call it “positive reinforcement” if I were trying to be PC.  Bribery, it is!
I buy a special treat that is not stocked in the home on a regular basis, something that suits the child’s preference.  In the past it’s beenYumEarth_Naturals_Sour_Beans_Snack_Pack_-_front either M&Ms or Jelly Belly candies.  This time around I struggled a bit since we have gone clean with our diet.  In the end, I decided that I couldn’t deprive my little guy of this right of passage in my home – candy for going potty. 
The treats of choice this time around were Sour Beans, Gummy Bears, and Lollipops.  All the treats are made by Yummy Earth.  They’re organic and gluten free. 
Here’s how it works.  The child goes potty.  It most be a legitimate use of the potty not just a sight seeing visit or test drive.
Once the potty business is done, I (or whoever took him potty) parades him to the treat area.  All the siblings are rallied, “Come on….., Dragonfly went potty in the potty!”  They all run in with shouts of joy, “WHOOT WHOOT! Potty in the potty, potty in the potty! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH Dragonfly!”
The siblings line up so that the potty training child can pass out his treats – one for each sibling.  But before the sibling can receive the treat, he must give another sign or shout of praise to the successful potty trainer.  The potty training child can enjoy his treat once his goodies have been distributed.
The lollipops are used for #2, “poo-poo on the potty!”  The same steps above are followed.
Treating all the siblings to this treat is key.  Everyone has something to look forward to when a little one starts potty training in the home.  It helps them to become invested in the success of their sibling.  Even the seventeen year old and the dog get in on the action!
(I hope to dig up a pic of this cute scene of my four children and chocolate lab lined up at the feet of a two year old with candy.)

~~~

I would be happy to answer any questions about what has worked in my home.  Also, I would be delighted to hear your #1 potty training tip.  Leave a comment or drop me an email.

In His JOY,

Day 2: Nesting ~ 31 Days of reflections from a pregnant mama

October 2, 2012 by Lena {JOYfilledfamily} Filed Under: 31 Days, Pregnancy

Is it too ealry to start nesting?  That’s right, I’m only fivpelicanneste months along and I have the urge.  More than the urge, I put a plan into action.   Perhaps it’s the fear that I will not have the energy later on in pregnancy or maybe it’s the prompting of the Holy Ghost that some other change is coming.  I believe that it’s a bit of both – change (aside from a new bundle of joy) and an anticipation of decline in energy.  I desire to enjoy the present moment and go where He leads, trusting that He will take care of tomorrow.

As I have made reference to before, my energy is fleeting.  It’s been an ongoing health issue that I’ve been trying to get under control.  Ditching the SAD (Standard American Diet) has tremendously helped in that area.  I found out that I was pregnant just when I was ready to commit to the next step in my health and fitness.  Now, I’m not sure what is pregnancy related and what is part of my pre-existing issue.  Whatever the case may be, He has given me and my family the graces to persevere.

The deep cleaning of the downstairs was completed last week.  It helped that I had invited over another mom.  I played with the idea of meeting her elsewhere to get our work done but I knew that I could use the motivation to get my house in order.  What I didn’t expect was that my cleaning partner, Dad, would have a new schedule that has him gone from morning until 3pm.  Nonetheless, I stuck to a plan, did what I could and offered up the rest.  His grace was sufficient.  I managed to lead the troops to a clean house with limited help from Dad.

Next, I plan to tackle my storage master bedroom.  It’s in need of a major purge.  Not only for the new baby but for a pathway to walk safely.  Once my sanctuary is recreated I will tackle the laundry room, kid’s bedrooms, office, and my paper clutter.  The finale will be the garage.  It’s my hope to have it all done by the end of the month. 

Please pray for this pregnant mama on a mission!

In His JOY,

~~~

This is day 2 of my pregnancy reflections. You can find the other posts of my 31 Days here.

31 Days of reflections from a pregnant mama

October 2, 2012 by Lena {JOYfilledfamily} Filed Under: 31 Days, Pregnancy

31 Days of reflections from a pregnant mama - JOYfilledfamily

I knew that I wanted to follow along with the blog craze for October, 31 Days.

What’s 31 Days? Basically anyone can join in, just pick a topic and write about it every day for the month of October–we all come here and link up on October 1st. Think short posts with one point made each day.

~ The Nester

I just didn’t know what I would hone in on – my mind is going in a million directions. Sure, one would say that it’s probably due to the pregnancy hormones but the truth is, it’s my reality in or out of pregnancy.

My first desire was to use the 31 Days as a retreat and share my reflections. My next desire was to share my discernment journey. Another thought was to get my home in order and use the 31 Days as my accountability. There were many more desires that lingered. With all those thoughts, I had an overwhelming urge to do nothing. I resisted the urge and have moved forward – I fight my flesh to be all or nothing.

I will be participating in the 31 Days with my reflections, Reflections from a Pregnant Mom. In other words, I couldn’t narrow it down. I will most likely take inspiration from the other 31 Dayers that I’ll be following. Just to list a few:

  • 31 Days to a Heart of Hospitality – Life in Grace
  • 31 Days of the Saints – Joy Beyond the Cross
  • 31 Days of Homeschooling Through A Crisis – Reality Homeschooling
  • 31 Days to Crazy Joy – A Holy Experience
  • 31 Days to Remind Myself of the Mission – In the Heart of My Home

My posts my get deep, personal, help me to prepare for the arrival of this new blessing, be random, or not be much of posts at all. Whatever the case may be, I pray that it all glorify God.

You are invited to follow along and leave comments if you so desire. 

Ad Jesum per Mariam,

P.S.  The pic of the pregnant mama was created at DesignHerGals.com, a place to create personalized stationary.  The pregnant mama is my ideal version of me during pregnancy.  I gave thanks that the site didn’t offer a preg option for their plus size gals.  I’ve decided to enjoy this version of me – ALL FOR!

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Hi! I'm Lena, mama of JOYfilledfamily.
We are a traditional Catholic family striving to live for Jesus Christ in everything we do. We pray to completely surrender our will to His and to become His servants. Our mission of this blog is to share our JOY.

This blog serves as a journal of us making good memories, living the liturgical year, and our spiritual journey.

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