Motivation Reflection

3.13.11
this is in response to your motivation post.  i read it after walking in the door from of day full of shopping for rose’s party.  i was physically exhausted and stressed.  your words pierced me.  in fact, i’m still mulling them over in prayer.
this is what was on my heart after i read your post and took a moment for discernment, prior to my break down…
i have been in the same place you describe.  it’s happiness was fleeting.  i fear that i may return to that place (that was far removed from Him) so i turn and run the other way, thinking i will find Him there.  instead, i run right past Him.  it’s a different place but the same result, it becomes all about me.
satan is loving it.  the spiritual warfare has begun.  i do not enter battle on my own.  i have learned this the hard way.  i call upon our blessed mother.

• i desire to be thin.
  • He calls me to be healthy.
    • that means moderate exercise and a healthy intake of food – not excessive daily exercise outside of my state of life and no starvation.
• i desire to get out of this stage in my journey and move onto a maintenance stage.  a stage which i perceive to be an easier road.
  • He calls me to embrace where i am at and find Him in all the struggles.
    • that means that i must seek to glorify Him in everything i do.  this includes my failures as well as my successes.  they are all his.  he is pleased with my faithfulness to Him alone.
• i desire to gain order and control of my life and family.
  • He calls me to surrender it all to Him.
    • that means that i must not seek a worldly standard of success but embrace my crosses.  i must be a joyful servant and be right ordered.  my every moment should revolve around Him.  i should seek his face in those around me.

i desire to…

• learn how to desire only His will for me. 
• be content where i am.
• find JOY (Him) in all i’m surrounded with.
• live each moment as though it were my last so that i can make it HOME!